I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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