that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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