why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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