I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
