I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize