its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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