i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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