I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize