so explain again why im purple
no
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
