She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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