You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
