I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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