Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Come share oat with me in your robe
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
