Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
