I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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