Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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