I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
foreskin is a definite game changer
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
