Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize