is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize