I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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