every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude i'm inner monologue high
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
