As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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