the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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