So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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