got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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