it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
