He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
