girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
