I cockslap morals
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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