The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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