Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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