Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
