Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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