Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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