he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
