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Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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