Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
