there's paper in my vomit.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
