just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
