I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
