I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
