I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
