I am puke
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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