i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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