currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
