i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
