I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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