Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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