ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
