Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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