The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
