I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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