I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
