I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize