This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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