Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
