Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
third nipple confirmed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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