Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
