The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
