I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
