she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Dick very happy bro
Randomize