Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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