I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
do herpes really smell.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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