At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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