I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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