i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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