ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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