hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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