Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So here I am, sexting at work.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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