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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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